A couple of nights ago Dave came downstairs with a bunch of red licorice in his hand. “Want some?” he asked.
“Um, yeah,” I said. Like, duh. He knows red licorice is my favorite. He tossed me a few whips. They were smooth and almost wet-feeling. Ew. Frickin’ Nibs.
I sighed and tossed them back to him. “Here. You can eat these.” He gave me a funny look. “Why? You don’t want them?” “No, they’re Nibs. Nibs are disgusting.”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s licorice. It’s all the same. There’s no difference.”
I gasped. “There is too! Nibs are sweeter and they feel kind of slimy” I explained. “Twizzlers are fruitier tasting and they have those ridges on them, you know? The flavor is fuller, more robust.” I waved my hand around in the air for effect.
He snorted. “Robust? Babe, we’re talking about licorice. Not wine.” “Shut up. There’s a big difference,” I huffed.
And there is. Sure, they’re made by the same company but saying Nibs taste the same as Twizzlers is like saying Coke is the same as Pepsi. There’s just no comparison, if you ask me.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with my best friend last weekend while I was hangin’ at her pad watching bad boys, bad boys get arrested on national television. I’d mentioned to her that Wal*Mart had Heinz ketchup on sale and that for the first time in like, years, I had the king of ketchups in my fridge instead of the no-name brand shit we usually buy.
My best friend was shocked that I usually skimp on ketchup; for her, ketchup is something she will only buy unless it’s the real deal. This, of course, spurred a lengthy discussion detailing the things we buy that positively must be name brand. A few of mine:
- Q-tips: I was cleaning my ears once with a no-name brand Q-tip and the entire cotton tip came off and got stuck in my ear. I don’t skimp on Q-tips anymore.
- Margarine: I only buy Becel, always.
- Toilet paper: Cha-cha-cha, Charmin. I want something thicker than 1-ply if I have to have my hand that close to my cornhole.
- Dish soap: I’m hooked on the scented stuff Palmolive sells – the aromatherapy stuff is da bomb.
- Maxi pads: Even though I think their “Have a happy period” is asinine, I’ll only buy their products.
- Coca-Cola: It has to be Coke (or diet, with lime). To me, Pepsi has a slightly metallic taste to it. Check out also my pop-art self-portrait.
- Mayonnaise: I’m a Hellman’s kinda gal.
I’m curious about y’all. Do you think there’s a noticeable difference in taste between Twizzlers and Nibs? And what are the specific items that you just won’t take the cheap route on?